


hiraeth

by LocalArsonisst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Angst, Anime, Boys In Love, Character Death, Family, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Language of Flowers, M/M, Manga & Anime, Miya Osamu Needs a Hug, Miya Osamu-centric, Miya Twins, No Beta, POV Miya Osamu, Protective Miya Atsumu, Protective Miya Osamu, Royalty, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalArsonisst/pseuds/LocalArsonisst
Summary: (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.My brother. Always said I was a dreamer. In my brain there was always a place. That was like home but there was no way I could find it. It was like it wasn't hereBut so closeFor I the second son of the Miya Empire, must behave as one as not a dreamer. To be the silent prince to be married off for social climb and expansion as I watched my elder brother only by 7 minutes climb to the top of the monarchy.My dear brother is far to kind of me, always been. Mother has never seemed to see me as an equal, just an opportunity. I was trained, raised to appear as a female. Married off before anyone realized.The corset training of my childhood stunted my growth, my body turned more feminine, for I must be the perfect child for my brother to climb. But sometimes I feel the home I cannot reach and I run towards it to see nothing.My soul purpose is to find a home, to find a place I can prosper in as much as my elder brother.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	hiraeth

There is a legend about the Gemini twins,  
For my brother, Pollux and I Castor, for his pleads for me to join him as a immortal, after all we've never been apart, for me a mortal Zeus blessed me with immortality, with that we now live forever in the Gemini constellation.

For my brother and I are the newest sets of Gemini twins. Atsumu, Pollux is the elder twin of 7 minutes born as handsome as they come, and me Osamu, Castor nothing as much as the beauty my brother radiated, physically weaker also but I knew from the time I was born I was born to serve him. For my life must end up like every other Gemini twin, sitting together forever and always.

We were born a faithful night, my father used to speak about it as it was a gift from the gods, there was no clouds in the sky and the stars were so bright as he recites like they were saying here is our gift to you!

My elder brother, born 7 minutes prior to my arrival to the world. My brother born with honey gold eyes, and a smile that of the world. The sun. He was the sun and for I the moon, dark silver eyes as the second born prince.

My brother. Always said I was a dreamer.  
For I the second son of the Miya Empire, must behave as one as not a dreamer. To be the silent prince to be married off for social climb and expansion as I watched my elder brother only by 7 minutes climb to the top of the monarchy. My job as a second son, is to serve my brother and marry off expanding our empire to greater lengths.

My mother, never spoke to me as a child. Instead she forced servants to take care of me while she strengthened my twin to be a kind king.

My dear brother is far to kind of me, always been. Mother has never seemed to see me as an equal, just an opportunity. I was trained, raised to appear as a female. Married off before anyone realized. The corset training of my childhood stunted my growth, my body turned more feminine, for I must be the perfect child for my brother to climb. For I must endure the many sick days of losing air, because mother forced the corset too tight.

Oh how she wished I was a daughter, daughters are easy to marry off. A son much harder. The social climb is all about having daughters to marry Noble men to be their queens in the combined territories. But for I am a simple prince of the land inherited to my elder brother.

There was never a moment in which I hated my elder brother for being born, he gave to much to me. My fondest memories are with him.

I remember when we were 7, we climbed trees in the garden to talk. Around the time mother started making me wear wigs. He laughed at me and I got embarrassed and fell out of the tree to only be caught by Kita, my brothers loyal gaurd only 4 years older than us but already top of the ranks.

I think in those moments I realized with them I was home.

Another fond memory was when we were 9, Atsumu snuck into the tower in which I was doing school work in, all the qualities needed to be a good queen I was learning. Posture, hand placement, facial expressions. I excelled in the creative aspect as gardening and cooking while the more noble skills came harder to me.

When he snuck in he mimicked what I did in perfect sync moving as if we were the clock handles we laughed and danced around the tower, the teacher only giving a warm smile.

Until our 10th birthday when mother made me stay farther away from my brother. Previously sleeping in the same hall of the palace I was sent to the servants wing, to learn hospitality skills as she says.

The thing about mother is she never seemed to see us as any more than pawns, she would have loved to have more children but my father was kind and realized the treatment of the two they had and no longer laid with mother.

On our 11th birthday I got to see my brother for the first time in six months and announced my betrothal to Kita. For he was my first love, in those lonely nights he stood outside my window, giving me notes my brother sent me and once climbed up whispering sweet words into my ear, as I fell asleep for him to not be there in the morning anymore.

He brought me Chrysanthemum's the night he begun courting me, with father and brothers premission. I was in love and as long as the flowers bloomed our love with bloom.

Father sent mother to another estate when we're 16 years old, he wanted us to be children along with strong rulers, so that was when I married Kita in secret. The love we had shown that day was the most memorizing thing.

For I finally free of the restrictions of my mother was allowed to wear clothing my brother had and i had decided to wear a white tunic and stable pants. For we were having a private wedding no need for showy.

The flowers in the garden never bloomed as bright as they did when we married. My brother was so happy I was granted love and from someone he approved of his loyalist gaurd. For at that moment it was like the world had stopped and let me finally enter it.

That blissful night, my new husband explored my body, as I did his. The night I felt like I was a lilac and forever will be one he would hold in his warm hands whispering sweet nothings.

I will never forget my 17th birthday, mother returned home, rushing in to father explaining about a uprising of the kingdom next door, attacking the western gates. I remember clutching onto my husband as we listened. My brother and father had the final say in what happeneds. Mother never spoke a word to me during her visit.

For the week visit my mother had stayed she decided the best plans of action is military. For my father to agree and then it was the convosation on who to go.

I remember I wasn't allowed in that meeting mothers request.

I remember sitting in the garden, when Kita came behind me putting a poppy in my hair. "I was chosen to go to war.. if we play our cards right I will be home in no longer than a month." He told me.

The smile on his face as he explained his loyal intents to protect my brother and I. I actually believed him, that it was no longer than a month....

For as if the earth knew, the day they left the flowers all withered away. Only the poppy seed burst through the ground like blood.

The horrid realization, this was worse than we imagined.

The memory of seeing my husband ride off on horse after a heartfelt see you soon, I handed him a flower, Gladiolus. Before he left.

We were in love blinded from the real world for oh so that single year. The day the news came from the running man. I was excited to receive his letter for only...

For only, there was no letter. Only a badge, and a flower.

My home has never seemed so far away. The general went to speak to father while I curled up in the hallway. I remember my brother running out from the meeting room clutching a piece of paper.

He sprinted like he was going to explode if he didn't reach his target. He managed to reach it and it was me. He picked me up and hugged me. The badge of my late husband now cutting my hand as I wept.

For only 10 casualties of the territories boarder fight, and my husband was one of the few.

Why I wished the gods didn't decide to hate me, for I was unlucky. For anyone to love me is losing their luck, for my brother was the lucky one and that makes me the unlucky one. He was everything I was never good at, social skills, public speaking, leading everything I wish I could have had the luxury of having these skills. But no I was born lackluster at best.

My mother, came home soon after to comfort me, she used things I enjoyed to make me into chores.

I figured after a week it was using my broken heart to condition me into a good housewife for a noble man, to marry. For instead of Kita cheering me up as a child, all I see is his grave in the court yard. Freshly covered in the flower garden we planted a summers Eve.

My mother covered up his death as a casualty of war, but for her own selfish gain my husband was tortured and killed. When she was in dying moments years later she explained to my brother; mistaking him as her royal advisor what she did to him.

For my loving, compassionate, hardworking husband was sent to his death trap by a greedy power-hungry women. Oh how I wish I could say she wasn't my mother, and I was my fathers bastard son but for I cannot change the women who gave birth to me.

Her cruel reasoning was her doll of a child married for love not for power and didn't gain anything for the house marrying a lowly gaurd, so she sent him to his death. There was no boarder problem, as of what she spoke of; for she had lied to draw him out.

Mother knew this was how to get to me to make me her perfect princess by killing the one man who cheered me up when my brother and I were separated for years, who loved me when nobody could see me, as punishment for me being born a male. The kindest soul was tortured for 9 days, day in and day out trying to get infomation about me, for I had indirectly killed him.

My mother didn't feed him, didn't let him sleep, whipped him and when she wasn't whipping him she was pushing his head into water, burning his skin, and cruel cruel punishment for loving me. His body gave out on the 9th day, and he died hands still hanging from the chains. The way my mother stated how he acted during his final day, makes me throw up.

He cried out for me, he cried out for me to love again, to forgive him for not holding out, forgive him for not keeping his promise. He cried for me, not for him. It was my fault he was dying and he still loved me. For I will hold that fact to the next life.

The other 9 dead? They weren't actually killed via war, no they were peasant men who died of an outbreak of sickness. They were dragged into the royal families family affairs past their resting days.

For my mother had turned me to a doll, she prepared for my marriage ball, to marry me off to a rich man who enjoyed the company of a feminine man. For any man to fall in love with my brother was rushed to look at me, because hey we are identical twins.

But nobody falls in love with the sun, to believe that the moon was better? So mother had to rely on marriage conferences and balls. She used me as a ploy to cover up other Aristocratic scandals of sons of noble men liking other men. For I to the public was a female. The castle staff were sworn to secretary and if they did tell they had an arrow placed into their head for high treason.

You see my father was kind, and he couldn't tell what the cruel things my mother did because to him she was the wife, he was forced to marry and he had a nation and army to lead, he left the family and castle to mother.

I remember one night my brother comforting me, whispering to me about stupid stuff, but I craved comfort. I loathed him at this time, for he had lost his best friend but he didn't lose his heart. It was unfair.

So when my mother spoke of our birthday ball, our big 18th birthday, I was to find a wealthy man of a high status to marry. If I failed mother used to whisper in my ear, something I never could make out, sounded a lot, you'd be next...

I spent months of waiting, practicing, being measured for this custom gown, for the birthday ball.

Mother has to get the custom wig and feather, she wants her 'daughter' to attract many men.

I don't know if I could love again, my heart is no longer in one piece. For she has known that. But if it's for my brothers sake I will do whatever needs to be done to make sure, after father my brother is heir, and if it involves me killing mother protecting my brother then it involves me killing mother.

For the month of the ball, the maids and mother went all out decorating, the estate. One of many, but our central estate. The hedges were trimmed down into shapes, mother avoided the garden on the grounds like was going to kill her, which I enjoyed very much because while she was busy I'd go down to the garden tend my flowers and speak to my late love.

The chaos of the house and the arrival of guests was approaching, mother was showing brother but I was the main selling point. She was moving her chess pieces along.

The night of the ball, the maids forced my body into the tightest corset, and layered a silver ball gown over it, my hairs long but the wig infused with it made it long in the half up half down style.

They covered my face with powders, and makeup to make me look my best, and for when I stood up I was gorgeous. For I had to be, for the safety of my brother I must throw my mind away.

The ring on my finger remained, covering it by white gloves and I was ready.

My brother and father were greeting guests at the door, while mother was instructing the house workers where to put people in the dining hall. The most promising suitors closer to us.

I prepared for my turn to be called to go down the stairs, "Princess Osamu Miya" I zoned everything out as a floated down the stairs like I practiced time and time again, mother didn't let me see the dress until the day of the hall so we practiced in other clothing.

I smiled, trying to steal my brothers warmth as he was my sun, and I was his moon. He was covered in a white suit with gold accents, his hair swooped back in a princely manner for he had a hand out for me.

We have always been just the two of us, the world revolves around us not the other way around. So when Kita came into our lives we finally let someone in, but he knew to never try to come between us.

So the warmth of my brothers hand made the night more bareable, as we walked hand and hand down to the floor.

And from across the room, I spotted the one odd man out, and my eyes zeroed in, who is this man in black and why does he radiate the energy of a star?

The man seemed uninterested in me, minding his own business in his black tuxedo. I wanted to walk over, to meet him. But before I got the chance, princess', nobles, and aristocrats alike were asking for my hand in the dance.

The way courting is conducted is you meet, never the female starts the interaction instead she waits back hoping her father or brother leads them to a man of their choosing, or a man comes up then in which she can interact.

From the interaction, she must behave, and listen determining the level of wealth and status each member of party has to see which would be the best for political gain.

After their dance is over, and if they ask another dance, or another person asks for their next dance the ratings continue until she can step off the dance floor reporting back to her family to do it all again.

There are many different balls, gatherings and marriage related things for the season. Brother asked a pretty young maiden to dance and I smiled, this was only the second event of the seasons

I was a prime contender for the men to contain as their own, for they would use me to pose as a queen while they have bastard children then claim them as my children and force me to be a women in the eyes of society for the rest of my life. Or the second option, as few knew about my actual sex, some chose me as their wife to because of their interest in men. To not disrupt traditions they'd use me. Either way it means I rot away claiming to be as I am not.

But marriage is important in the social climb, even though we are the emperors' family to stop fighting in our land from land owners or to stop impeding wars with other nations, we marry our children out to maintain our status.

After the ball ends the women in waiting must wait 5 days before the men come to their house address their family with courting gifts. With the gifts the narrowing down to less and less and more interaction with them at the events.

Then it's time for the proposal, multiple men can propose but until one marries the maiden she is still able to switch her fiancé of choice; keeping everyone on their toes.

Then it was final final day, where she accepts the hand of a man in marriage and leaves her home she grew up in or if it's a family with more than one son while the maidens family only has daughters or only one heir after the king, her husband comes to her estate to take the place as a successor in case anything happens to the heir.

A women is only in season from ages sixteen to twenty two, so if she ages out her family will often strip her of her power or she'd be married off to a relative and never return; not fufilling her mission as women of power.

The rich and powerful play chess while we play checkers, father would never want to lead harm to me; but he knows; as do I this marriage needs to go well.

My mind are still thinking of that brown haired witty-eyed fellow from before. Is loving another man betraying my love for Kita? Or is it allowed? Am I allowed to move on? Bloody hell I wish he was still here telling me what to do. Atsumu thinks he would want me to be happy but wouldn't it hurt to watch his beloved love another.

Prince Aran, a childhood friend of ours, he used to study in the castle with Atsumu and Kita takes my hand to go get some fresh air.

"Oh thank goodness, I cannot dance on these belittling shoes more" I looked up to him smiling. "Samu you know me better than that, we both needed some air." I snorted a laugh out, "Aran I cannot get air mother forced my corset to its extreme, she got the maids to pull my skin so she could tighten it to gods know what" I laughed.

I have to appear proper still, eyes are still on me.

A hand rests upon my shoulder, then a familiar voice appears in my ears. My brother came to join us. "Anyone catch your eye?" He asks, I rolled my eyes "like I have a say in it?" He laughs slightly, "but one things for sure there was a single man who avoided me like the plague! Didn't ask for my hand once! But he's so incredibly handsome it's unfair!" I rambled on to the two idiots I love standing next to me.

"Did you Atleast get a name?" Aran asks and I shook my head. "Do you think he would allow this? For me to move on? To love again?" I hold my left ring finger to my heart the wedding ring still placed there. "He always wanted you to be happy and if you find someone to make you happy he'll do everything in his power to continue making you happy from beyond the grave, knowing him he'll make sure the kingdom has a magically good harvest." Atsumu says smiling at me. Aran nods in agreement.

Mother walks out the door, "Osamu dear, you still have to make your rounds, Duke Ojiro, I haven't seen you in years, you were just a small boy when we last met! How are you!" My mother says with a fake kindness that all three of know well, I allow my mother to take my hand and lead me back into the crowded ballroom.

A son of a knight walks up to me, "hello madam will you like to take a stroll in the gardens with me?" He asks. I wanna get out of the hell hole we call this stuffy political room. "I must ask fathers premission to leave" I say politely, walking up to my father.

He approved and the boy takes my hand. He reminds me of a turnip and gives me a terrible vibe but it's whatver.

"So princess, are you still pure?" He asked in the gardens. I gasped, "how scandalous of a question! I was and still am married, my purity has nothing to do with you!" I slightly raised my voice at him.

He leans down trying to kiss my neck and I panicked. There's no way in hell will I marry a vegetable. "Please unhand me," I say moving backwards. I know our outer gardens as well as our inner like the back of my hand.

Aran, Kita, and Atsumu would sneak me out of study and we'd play in the hedges for hours while mother was busy. Fondest memories are with them and now I cannot get tainted by this mans grubby hands in the same place our history is.

"Let the madam go!" A voice rang out. "What are you gonna do about it?" The man stood up pushing me back a few steps. "Kiss you" the other man winked and the turnip man, said a few slurs and ran away from the 'plagued'

"Thank you for helping me!" I say to the man in the shadows, my breathing is already troubling after hours of wearing a corset too tight. "No problem, I'll always help a maiden wait should I say a prince instead?" So this must be one of the special courting cases.

"I'm Osamu but you already knew that, and you?"

"Suna."

We walked in the garden for a time, getting to know eachother in silence. I could read his story in his eyes and he could read mine. It was perfect, not love definitely not love but something could happen.

Took me a while to realize he's the mystery man. "What makes you special?" I ask, it comes off harsh but he understands, what makes your family powerful.

"Father is a wealthy business owner and mother is a daughter of a well known blacksmith." Very successful pedigree indeed. "Good trade, you'd be a good candidate" I smiled, "hold your horses I never said I wanted your hand." He says non chalently. "Mister you know you're the only one who didn't ask for a dance and makes me think you're different and i like different." I lift my dress up as we cross the pond, making sure only my feet get wet, I ditched the hellish heels a while back, nobody sees my feet anyways.

"And if I was to court you what makes you different." He asks, "you can have children with your mistress's without a worry, nobody will think they're bastards." I say. "Do you not know you're more than a tool?" He asks. I don't really know how to answer his question so I stayed quiet. "You're trapped living in a web of lies how does it feel being the second prince, do you wanna have children with mistress'?" He asks.

"To be frank, I have no interest in women. I am tainted by only the one I have loved who died a hero's death. I live and do what I must to keep power out of my mothers hand and my brother to succeed and rule with kindness like our father." I tell him. "So you live for others selflessly, live alittle, you're quite interesting maybe I will court you; maybe marry you"

I blushed.

We walk hand and hand back to the ballroom and my brother and Aran give me a thumbs up.

Suna.. what a interesting name.

They become more accurate as I continued and I am grateful of the fact I still can remember the details of my passed on beloved still.

Each day becomes new and it is finally the day I can marry my love.

I woke up before the sun had risen. Mother and the maids were already in my room. Corset, dress, hair. Everything had to be perfect. I had to show a good example to all the future royal brides for they will yearn for a wedding as good as mine.

My brother was delighted to head to the location in which we shall legally be wed. The rows covered in primroses. It was a gorgous sight to see as I walked up, veil covering my face to my future husband. To everyone around us this is my first wedding, unless those who truely know me know there was another.

When I reach him the world stops and the other people around us aren't important. I couldn't hear anything just cared about him and only him.

So more or less I was lost in my own mind throguh my entire wedding and cannot remember anything other than a kiss at the end, that I never wished for it to end.

I could remember now that we are done with the ceremony the guests headed to the reception while we headed to the carriage to the estate.

It's weird not being at the party for your own wedding but mother planned it this way so I couldn't deny it.

It was a one days trip to the estate, it was edging the territories boarders but yet so incredibly beautiful. The maids brought our stuff in and my now discarded wedding dress laid on the floor nice and neatly, I stand in the room I now share.

I take my husbands tunic and put it on. It smells like him and soft. I lay on the bed reading a book until I fall asleep while Suna brings all the belongings in with the maid. He had to set the house up for his family also.

I don't mind I barely slept on the way here. I let the smell of sunflowers wake me up hours later. Suna is still yet to come ocuppy the room which means he probably found a nice tree and fell asleep it was quite cute my little Fox boy.

So when he did return to the room we did everything a married couple can do, we slept together but also laid together in mind and body.

Our naked bodies fit together as we slept through the first wild night of marriage. Wishing everyday would be this magical.

The maids woke us up at noon, letting us sleep in as they did whatever. We planned to explore the estate today, getting dressed we prepared. Suna threw on riding pants so I followed in suit. As we headed to the stables.

There were two beautiful mares. A pure white one and a burgendy colored one. Perfect for a morning ride. We hop on and go off.

The estate was absolutely stunning. The trees and gardens were gorgeous and green and it looked like life was constantly coming here and never going.

I got excited when we saw a lake. "May we swim?" I asked. He nods and we strip of our clothing after we tied the horses up.

I run into the cold water and it felt nice on my sore back, Suna soon came walking in to join me. It felt nicer than any bath I could have.

I leaned over and kissed my beloved and he leaves me with thst straight face that also tells me he loves me in his werid Suna way.

Day by day it was finally coming to an end our amazing vacation was over and we must head back to the main estate for Suna's family are now moving into the manor.

I hope they'll enjoy it as we did.

Everyday I hope I can spend by the side of my beloved Sunarin and never fail to protect him like I did with Kita.

So now we are wedded and nothing could go wrong, I love running in the halls from the kitchen in which I cook him some snacks while he works.

Some nights his face is stern like there's a problem but he never tells me what... As long as he's alive I will be happy so keeping secrets is okay right?

War leads to disarray, disaster and all the other words that start with dis. But nobody ever told me that it's lead to the assassination of my heart.

The boarder; threatened by the neighboring nation; with their claim of no sign of peace. My father prayed and preached that if there was anyway for something to happen peacefully that way will be done.

Father came from a long line of noble emperors, but he also came from a long line of compassionate rulers who cared for their people. Which in turn people cared for and would gladly lay their lives down protecting.

So when the kingdom of Omahana, waged war. Father took it in his own hands to lead the army. My beloved husband, born of a military family swore to stand by my family to the end and followed father.

Two men I loved sent away for war, and the last man I loved Atsumu; had to lead the empire in fathers place. Of course I helped from the shadows; I'm with him forever.

So as the war waged on more and more pressure was leaning on my heart. Mother was at her estate, doing gods know what as her husband is fighting to protect her.

Mother and father's marriage was not like Kita or Suna and I's for we have shared fond memories and love. My father loves my mother but mother doesn't love anyone but herself.

Two months before the first letter arrived, explaining the front lines. 10,000 injured or dead; the other side has suffered worse and only a few more weeks hopefully before we won.

Nothing on father's or Suna's status, for my heart felt lighter if they were not written as dead they are surely alive.

My brother and I continued to rule the nation for it was our duty to father. Brother conducted all the speeches and social aspects of ruling and i ruled from the shadows, documents, paper work, what ever help i could do I did it.

For I also am the sworn prince of the Miya Empire and I have to repay the empire for the kindness they have given my family for over 20 generations.

My heart yearned for the women, children, men, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, who lost someone in the war. So my brother and I came up with an idea of writing a royal letter to each and every one of the lost family members, along with a gift basket to hopefully help with their grief.

For they have know their names, stories, and personalities the lost were not numbers on a piece of paper they were human beings with emotions, fears, and hope and due to a stupid war caused by a power hungry dictator trying to destroy our peaceful empire they have lost their lives.

And so the war waged on, as it continued my brother and I wrote letters, and made handmade baskets for each and everyone who lost in the war. For we had to show them we were standing with them.

For it was a year since the war began and the casualties multipled greatly. But when the news of the king and the duke getting captured that's when my rebuilt heart broke once again.

For the leader said, an ambush occurred capturing the entire squad. The king is currently being held for ransom, and if Prince Atsumu doesn't comply he will be beheaded.

Reading that I looked to my brother with pain in my eyes, remembering the promise of father. He told us whatever happens don't crack and lead the nation with a heart of gold and a brain of books.

The fact we had to ignore the ransom for the better of our people and know our kind hearted selfless father was being assassinated pained our hearts but for the people we remind ourselves.

I could no longer read the update from the war after the talk with my brother and ad he picked it up he automatically gasped.

The letter stated the other members of the squad ordered by the king to protect them from torture were to break the poison pill and swallow it, leaving them deceased.

The eight bodies were later discovered in daybreak 100 meters from their original kidnapped location.

I looked at my brother. Suna was in that squad. My beloved husband was dead. I have failed once again to keep them safe, I am their bad lunch charm but they loved me but I am unlovable. I don't deserve love I don't deserve them; but now I don't have them.

My knees felt weak as I welp. The loss of my first husband years ago, my heart only recently recovered to be able to love again fully for it to be ripped away once again.

My brother pulled me into a hug, my knees giving out as I leaned my entire body onto him, screaming and crying as he silently rubbed my back whispering in my ear that he had died painlessly.

For father, the fate was not the same, a year and 5 months after the war begun father was assassinated. But after his death the war turned to our favor and after almost 2 years of fighting we had won obsorbing the kingdom into our empire.

The loss was not to be forgotten for we all had lost? And now we welcome our neighbors as they had lost too.

The uniform, badge and notebook my husband had with him was sent Right to me and my brother settled an area next to Kita for him to lie peacefully.

He had died an honorable death and I am forever grateful and proud of the man I have loved and for the fact he had loved me.

After his death i resides in my room, doing paper work and dealt with any prevention to any war. We did not need wat we did not need young lives taken.

When my brother took the throne my mother now in her elder ages returned home to celebrate. She was a lot more frail and weaker as I care to remember but she is still the evil women I call my mother. She told me she was going to take me back with her like I could deny it.

She announced she was sick, but she had responsibilities as a mother to spend time with her only son before she goes.

I did not care at all, as long as I can get these papers filled out and sent out on the dot everyday then I will never see anyone else loose the way I did.

When fathers body arrived in the kingdom the entire kingdom wept, a giant ceremony took place for him, mentioning all the lost lives along side him. Mother and brother tan it while I stayed inside throwing my mind into languages and work. For my own garden began to scream thst I needed it and it needed me.

But I ignored everyone around me telling me to slow down, how can I? Half a million good men and boys died due to a evil evil dictator and I can prevent it from ever happening again for I will.  
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In the Eyes of Atsumu Miya.  
My dear younger brother, for I had spend 7 minutes without you in this world and I cannot handle spending a mere 7 minutes without you again

. For I will love you more than I love any other, the kindness you give, the sacrifices for my own happiness.

The selfishness of mother tortured your body as if you were a doll, and I couldn't protect you.

You are my baby brother and for I must apologize, for when the stars align I will return to you, for you are my home  
. It took me a whole 21 years to realize you are my home and for I must handle being a king of an empire, a husband, father, and a big brother. For you I will take all the years of pain from you.

As children we always competed who would end up happier but without you by my side I cannot be happy for I hear your sorrows, as your beloved has been lost. For you must retain what I have taught you. That faithful night I will never forget. The night you lost your first love, and then when I finally saw you smile again the second ripped away from your grasps from a fate more evil than the next.

For I have gained the luxury and enjoyment of being able to hold my spouse close while you had to prepare for two funerals. For the legend of the Gemini twins if you see one star is bad luck. But I do not think this, both twins were equally as strong, handsome and powerful in their own rights but one must fought no twin had gotten along everyday of their life for the bad luck of the Gemini twins must be when Pollux and Castor bicker as one of the same constellation.

I never read the paper I received that night when Kita died, until you were married the second time. For it was the words, live and love. For that was such like him.

And for mother to use your pained grieving as a way to marry you off was the most painful experience a brother ever had to experience.

For you were a flower with no petals until that night at the ball, where the prince of a eastern territory near our boarders who referred to himself as "just call me Suna" as he took your hand you seemed unimpressed but the smallest light in your eyes... my brother was back I thought.

Oh how I wish, I remember the way you prevented yourself to fall in love, after losing your husband at 17, mother marrying you at a wedding ball, only you would find the man who compliments you almost as well as Kita did at that time for I saw how your world was relit by Suna.

The greatest gift was the day before Suna proposed, we just began our 19th year, he was courting you for 7 months at that point.

I got a letter in the male, requesting a visit of my brothers suitor and of course I accepted. For I was also marrying off soon, before my coronation at 21.

We met in private and walked the garden my brother loved, to the poppy plants surrounding a grave, of a dear friend. I left them alone, for he was asking Kita the premission to give Osamu the world he deserved.

Oh how it was a bittersweet day. For only 5 years late he would join that single garden grave as another lost soul to this corrupt world, and to see my brother a shell.

My mother used my brother as a political hostage after Suna's death, after he learned to love again, he was broken beyond repairs.

Mother used his as tool, wrapping him in layers of clothing making his lungs feel like rocks, but unlike when we were children my brother had no complaints.

I watched my brother as a broken person seen as a scapegoat for my mother's political rule, at the other side of the empire.

For my father took the Southern palace, I took central and northern splitting my time mainly in central our main house. Suna and his family gained the eastern palace in the marriage. Mother ruled the western.

Mother convinced Osamu to come with him and she turned him into a monster. Loyal subjects would right letters to the central estate explaining how the queen was hurting 'sister'

My brother went through torture that year he was there, and I couldn't do anything. Only father had the power to kill mother.

At 26 my brother, tried to take his own life. He decided it was finally freeing, falling into a pile of daises.

But then his world finally grew. I remember for her had returned to the central palace to receive treatment. Finally away from mother he slowly became a person not a doll.

I remember the day triplets appeared at our door, written on a note explaining please take them. My brother took it upon himself to raise the triplets, as their soul parents. For the three reminded him of the moon phase. My nephew Keisuke born with jet black hair and dark dark eyes, My niece Mizuki born with entirely white hair and bright gold eyes, and my other nephew Yuuta born with a white puff of hair in his jet black hair and dark eyes that were surrounded by gray glow.

My brother beleives they were gifts from his loves for her felt the home of them.

For I never believed my brother will be truely happy. My wife I love dearly gave birth to a son, the heir and we expect another one later on.

My son is a year old and it's cute playing with his new baby cousins.

We turned a wing of the house into a nursery home and every night I hear the lullaby I remember, when my brother would sneak out the window with Kita as children they'd sing it. But for Kita only knew half the words but when Suna entered Osamu's life he knew the other half but he never had anyone to sing to.  
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I longed to belong my entire life, and when I belonged I was stripped from that happiness but finally, I feel home I found what I was longing for.

I still remember the sweet kisses Suna gave me as we woke up in bed together laughing about some stupid idea.

Oh I wish he was here, oh how he was now with Kita watching over our children. For I know it was them sending these three beautiful healthy babies to me and for me to take care of. For they will learn about their fathers' for I cannot tell which one of my loved I loved more.

My first love, was amazing and eternal while my second love was true love. He saved me and for I am entirely grateful for him.

Keisuke, reminds me a lot of Suna, he's very quiet and protective of his younger siblings. For on the note they explained that the girl is the youngest and they needed names, and Kei was the one who locked eyes with me first. I knew the look in that babies eyes and it screamed my true loves eyes.

Yuuta, reminds me of Kita. He is very expressionless but has a lot of expressions through his eyes and actions. He reached for me when we were discussing where the babies would go and if we were going to take the babies in. For I fell in love. The silly expression on the face of the baby reminds me of my first love.

Last but not least, my princess Mizuki. She reminds me of my last love Atsumu. She shines a big smile thst lights the room up and loves to babble about whatever in her little brain of hers. But she also had a serious side when she wants something. For she reminds me of the love that's been with me since I was born the love of my family's love of my twin.

—-  
For the longing of the home I never expected to find, I found for I thank the loved and lost for getting me here. At 28 years old with three troubled three year ones who are running around the quarters, maids chasing after then trying to put their royal attire on. I smiled at the sight as the three ran talking in half sentences.

My brother and his son walks in, the four year old immediately losing the proper manorism when he saw his cousin.

"You ready?" My brother asked me. I nod.

It's my first speech as the prince, but as the proud uncle and father to 4 adorable toddlers for their first interactions with their subjects as the first few years were bumpy, a lot of time spent inside. But it's finally time to announce their fatherhood's.

My brother and his wife Sakusa, and their son head to the balcony. My trio follows after and I make sure I stop by the garden before. For the flowers planted on the graves of my loved were pink roses, the boys thought they were pretty and Mimi of course wanted to dig the holes on her daddies graves.

I smiled thank them and maybe it's me getting old but as the wind blew by I believed I heard the voices I missed dearly say I love you. I looked around must have been me seeing things, until a bird placed a Gladiolus on my hands for I had known it was them wishing me luck.

I held my necklace of the rings they had both worn. I stacked my wedding bands on my finger for I had to remember both promised.

For I had caught up to the party of my loved ones and made my first speech as a prince.

I explained my plans for an estate orphanage, and school and explained the freedom of love is allowed in the empire. I looked to my brother and he nodded knowing what I am going to say.

"For I forced to be seen as a female my childhood to the public I am the prince Osamu Miya, younger twin brother of King Atsumu Miya, uncle of prince Kyo Miya, father of Mizuki, Yuuta, and Keisuke Miya; spouse of the late royal gaurd Kita Shinsuke and Duke Suna Rintarou, for I hope to stand behind my brother like my brother stood behind our late father in the ruling of this great land, for my brother is the sun I must be the moon but the moon cannot glow without the sun for I am grateful for the kindness the king has shown me our entire lives and for the kindness his wife and son has shown." My family scoots closer to me on the balcony the toddlers waving to the crowd. "For I must know it has been troublesome with the battles against the neighboring lands and for the many lives lost, dear to us lives but for we must love the lost and live for them, my mother always stated I was bad luck but I don't believe that for I know I am the same coin as my brother and he's pretty cool" the crowd giggled. "I hope to serve you all and continue this era of peace for the sake of the generations to follow." I stepped back bowed and stood behind my kids.

The crowd listened to my brothers plans on fixing the damages, and taking in new estate staff in all the estates to learn, and work. For our economy will grow and the lives father, Suna, and Kita among so many others layed their lives down protecting is now be on the height and for everyone to finally experience a world without pain is the goal, I know the seven deadly sins has greed as one of the human traits but for we can learn to overcome and evolve.

As the ceremony closes the staff threw flowers of every color and every species from the windows, for they called me the moon prince and my brother the sun king.

But I'm happy to just be called dad.

—-

For the pain of loss and the excitement of gain I watched my wonderful children grow into amazing young adults, who married for love not power as the world was finally at the time of piece I laid between your graves, 68 years old, my brother already stepped down and Kyo is the new king and we both know our time is soon, for I know where I am residing.

I hold chrysanthemum in my hands as I closed my eyes accepting the darkness.

I opened my eyes in the dark and saw your smiling face. "Took you long enough " I was home surrounded by my brother, my first love and my true love again, for we were to protect the new generation from behind the grave for I was home.

The longing for the home was no longer for I had known pain, for I had known love, for I had know loss, for I had known gain for I had known to live and I lived my life to how I wanted to live.

For I, Osamu Miya am finally home in the arms of the ones I love.


End file.
